The Weird World, a Zootopia Story
by cancervantes
Summary: Judy and Nick got married! Now our foxy hero must learn how to let go as Judy climbs the ladder of success after she got promoted. Meanwhile, something has disturbed Mr. Big pretty badly and it's up to Nick to serve as the family business' interim leader as he faces the arrival of the newly formed SyndiCat.
1. Chapter 1: The Calm Before the Storm

It all began in a hot Monday night at the Hopps' house. Judy and her fox had been in the Zootopia Police Department for a year and were now enjoying their first vacations together. She wanted to keep up with her family. Stu told her that Natasha looked up to her and was now taking Krav Maga classes and considering joining the army when she turned 18 next year. Little Gary has taken an interest in books, and Jacob -now in 7th grade- is seeing a cheetah boy called Gus. They met at the theater club in and clicked since day one. None of them had had a relationship before so there's no bias, no bitterness, just having fun with their first love.

The newly wed arrived just in time for supper. Bonnie and Stu made Roast Fish with lemons and herbs, and there was a strawberry pie with a hint of cinnamon cooling down by the window. It smelled so sweet and homely that Nick's eyes inadvertently kept straying towards the kitchen from time to time.

-"Gideon baked it but sadly he couldn't join us tonight. He had a sudden appointment", said Bonnie, who had a keen intuition, enough to anticipate most males' thoughts.

The night was delightful and full of mellow. Laughter and love filled the house until they went to bed and silence fell.

The clock marked 3:30AM

-"Judy!" shouted Nick as he woke up sweating like a pig.

-"Yes dear, but it felt so real. I think… Oh God, the rain _ **, the rain**_. I'm soaking, how can I be wet if it was just a dream?

-"Calm down, that's sweat and I'm alive, am I not? Remember what the doctor said, you're just anxious because of my new job."

-"No Carrots, I'm honestly happy for you. Some people spend years trying to build up their careers at the Force, but look at you, Detective Inspector Hopps, Homicides. You're quite literally a hero, you-"

-"It's _heroine_. "

-"I don't know what you're talking about, Officer. I ain't seen no Smack."

-"For cuss sake Nick, I thought you were serious"

-"Hahah, you might be in the cover of Zootopia Times, but I still got the street smart"

Spoiler: He was serious. In fact Nick couldn't sleep anymore until the rooster woke up the clan.

In the morning, Nick was still affected by the nightmare. Of course, seeing the love of your life laying lifeless on the ground is an easy way to ruin someone's day, but during breakfast reality took over and the world made sense again. Still there was something, something… (in his throat).

 **A Taste of the Weird World**

 _Hey hey hey_

 _There's silence over the city but it's so noisy  
There is reason for looking up but I'm feeling down  
You see I've got to catch a plane, won't buy a ticket  
Cause it's hard to stop when you're spinning around_

 _It's a weird world don't you know it  
It's a weird world and it won't slow down  
It's a weird world no matter how you roll it_

Backstreet Boys - "Weird World"

Come Saturday night, Nick went to the local pub for a drink. Stu told him they had the best root beer this side of Barkcelona and he just had to try it to believe it, though he had never been to Barkcelona, and neither had Stu. Either way he went in, greeted the bartender.

-"Evening, Floyd."

-"Good evening, Mr. Wilde. It's good to see you _again_."

Floyd was a curious young lad. Midwestern accent, thin build, straight hair gelled back with gomina, pencil mustache and a bright as cuss smile, he was a powerful presence.

-"Slow night, isn't it?"

-"Indeed sir"

-"Well Floyd, I'm thirsty as a camel in the desert and word on the street is, you serve a great beer that can placate my dryness.

-"Sure thing, Mr. Wilde"

Floyd slid a glass across the bar right into Nick's hand. Nick drank it all with a jubilant grin and said:

-"Cuss, Floyd. Keep up like this and you're gonna make it big one day. You're my favorite, paws down"

-"Always a pleasure to serve you, sir."

And so Nick spent his night, chugging down glass after glass of sweet dark pop until his tummy hurt.

-"Bill, please", said Nick as he pulled out his wallet.

-"Nothing, sir. This one's on the house. Please come again soon, and bring your friends"

Nick said nothing but it all seemed pretty suspicious. He could've asked where exactly did he know Floyd from, but his head was starting to hurt from drinking so much sugar and he just wanted to go home with his family. However, he somehow felt like he had just done something bad, or was in the way to doing it.

He was walking very fast for someone with their belly full of soda. He couldn't believe he had parked his car so far from the pub, when suddenly he caught an oddly colorful figure with the corner of his eye in an alley. The figure looked at him and spoke nonsense:

-"Hey foxy daddy, you want a date? 10 bucks the hour, 5 extra for the knot. I don't do groups or rodents."

The thing revealed herself to be a young female caprine, too old to be a lamb but not enough to be an ewe.

-"I'm sorry lady, I'm a married fox. I can't give you a ride but I could call you a cab if you're looking for your dad." He moved on, ignoring she made a very rude signal at him. Finally, he found his car, got inside and started the engine, mind fleeting among the weirdness of the night.

He was almost home when a stray thought tugged on a spare neuron unoccupied in trivial cattlepoop. "The pie! You big son of a gun, you forgot to pick up the pie!" He made a not very legal U-turn and rushed to Gideon's bakery, wishing he hadn't closed yet. Gideon… Who would've thought a former bully would befriend such a nice fellow as Stu Hopps?

Nick relaxed a bit, knowing that even if it was closed, he could go to the bowling alley where they usually go to after work. There, he could ask Gideon for the keys and he could get the pie himself. "Well, maybe that won't be necessary", he thought to himself as he saw the bakery was still open.

"Hey Gideon…"


	2. Chapter 2: A Taste of the Weird World

**A Taste of the Weird World**

 _Hey hey hey_

 _There's silence over the city but it's so noisy  
There is reason for looking up but I'm feeling down  
You see I've got to catch a plane, won't buy a ticket  
Cause it's hard to stop when you're spinning around_

 _It's a weird world don't you know it  
It's a weird world and it won't slow down  
It's a weird world no matter how you roll it_

Backstreet Boys - "Weird World"

Come Saturday night, Nick went to the local pub for a drink. Stu told him they had the best root beer this side of Barkcelona and he just had to try it to believe it, though he had never been to Barkcelona, and neither had Stu. Either way he went in, greeted the bartender.

-"Evening, Floyd."

-"Good evening, Mr. Wilde. It's good to see you _again_."

Floyd was a curious young lad. Midwestern accent, thin build, straight hair gelled back with gomina, pencil mustache and a bright as cuss smile, he was a powerful presence.

-"Slow night, isn't it?"

-"Indeed sir"

-"Well Floyd, I'm thirsty as a camel in the desert and word on the street is, you serve a great beer that can placate my dryness.

-"Sure thing, Mr. Wilde"

Floyd slid a glass across the bar right into Nick's hand. Nick drank it all with a jubilant grin and said:

-"Cuss, Floyd. Keep up like this and you're gonna make it big one day. You're my favorite, paws down"

-"Always a pleasure to serve you, sir."

And so Nick spent his night, chugging down glass after glass of sweet dark pop until his tummy hurt.

-"Bill, please", said Nick as he pulled out his wallet.

-"Nothing, sir. This one's on the house. Please come again soon, and bring your friends"

Nick said nothing but it all seemed pretty suspicious. He could've asked where exactly did he know Floyd from, but his head was starting to hurt from drinking so much sugar and he just wanted to go home with his family. However, he somehow felt like he had just done something bad, or was in the way to doing it.

He was walking very fast for someone with their belly full of soda. He couldn't believe he had parked his car so far from the pub, when suddenly he caught an oddly colorful figure with the corner of his eye in an alley. The figure looked at him and spoke nonsense:

-"Hey foxy daddy, you want a date? 10 bucks the hour, 5 extra for the knot. I don't do groups or rodents."

The thing revealed herself to be a young female caprine, too old to be a lamb but not enough to be an ewe.

-"I'm sorry lady, I'm a married fox. I can't give you a ride but I could call you a cab if you're looking for your dad." He moved on, ignoring she made a very rude signal at him. Finally, he found his car, got inside and started the engine, mind fleeting among the weirdness of the night.

He was almost home when a stray thought tugged on a spare neuron unoccupied in trivial cattlepoop. "The pie! You big son of a gun, you forgot to pick up the pie!" He made a not very legal U-turn and rushed to Gideon's bakery, wishing he hadn't closed yet. Gideon… Who would've thought a former bully would befriend such a nice fellow as Stu Hopps?

Nick relaxed a bit, knowing that even if it was closed, he could go to the bowling alley where they usually go to after work. There, he could ask Gideon for the keys and he could get the pie himself. "Well, maybe that won't be necessary", he thought to himself as he saw the bakery was still open.

"Hey Gideon…"


	3. Chapter 3: Red Handed

**Red Handed**

The lights were on, but there was nobody at the counter.

-"Maybe he went out for a snack", the fox thought to himself.

When he was about to leave, he heard noises coming from a room. The hairs on his neck stood up and he snarled as he grabbed a baseball bat lying around.

Nick stood open mouthed under the door frame as he saw the unimaginable: Gideon was on top of Stu doing the nasty. The fox was wearing a muzzle, thick foam was oozing from it, his eyes were red like hot iron, and kept thrusting into Mr. Hopps' rear with the frenzy of a thousand rabbits in heat. One hand was gripping his left buttcheek, and the other was tugging the bunny by the ears. Meanwhile, Stu had a pair of briefs on his face, which Nick recognized as his own. Mr. Hopps kept sniffing the underwear as he mumbled:

-"Yes Nick, pork me like the useless piece of meat I am. You can do my whole family next, I **am** your slave."

Nick didn't pay much attention to the blueberries scattered all over the floor, he was just glad they hadn't seen him and wondering how such a sweet guy like Stu could be doing this kind of stuff behind his wife's back… Suddenly he saw the berries were actually Night Howler pellets and he got upset. Didn't he know how much trouble they went through to get rid of them all? How much suffering they caused? He couldn't take it anymore, so he spoke out:

-"Stu, what the cuss are you doing?" shouted Nick.

The bunny climaxed at Nick's voice, followed by Gideon, and went into a blissful stupor for a few seconds, but then came to himself and was so overwhelmed by shame that he started sobbing. He told Nick not only of his affair, but also how he had always fantasized about preds, specifically foxes. That he found out Gideon was bullying his daughter but didn't do anything because he secretly felt aroused and that caused him much shame. He also told him how he spent his two youngest children's college funds to build a Night Howler lab. He was about to justify himself when Nick, visibly upset, got up and started trashing the place in a fit of rage.

-"S-stop son… You haven't heard about my plan"

-"Why, shut up Stu. I won't allow this poison in my city. Your own daughter is putting her life on the line so regular folk can sleep at night."

When he was done, Nick got a headache and was thirstier than when he entered the pub, so he grabbed some milk from the fridge and drank straight from the carton because he was a tough guy. Gideon slept through the whole thing.


	4. Chapter 4: Lights Out

This was bad… Really cussing bad. Nick felt like the world he knew was just a fantasy covered by a pretty veil, and the veil was coming down. He was fuming, and while breaking apart Stu's lab felt good, he was far from satisfied. Worst of all, he was driving and had no idea where he wanted to go. He turned on the radio but it was just a bunch of conservative talk shows and silly symphonies. He went back to the red light district where the pub was, and saw a familiar face. It was the nice lady from earlier, but there was another figure, a mean-looking weasel. It seemed like he was threatening her. Nick wanted to call for backup but the villain pulled out a knife so he got out of the car, not bothering to close the door.

-"Yo, punk. Whatchu lost?" said the weasel.

-"I'm an officer of the law; drop the knife down now, or else…"

-"Or else what?"

The weasel pushed the lady aside and now was walking towards the fox menacingly.

-"Or else I'll have to hurt you", said Nick as he pulled a nightstick out of his sleeve.

-"Well, let's dance baby", said the thug. "When I'm done with you I'm gonna make me a fiddle with your guts". Now the radio started playing Offenbach's "The Infernal Galop".

He ran towards Nick, but the fox hit him in the arm, which made him drop the knife. Next, the lamb lady hit him in the face with her red glittery purse; The weasel's groin met Nick's footpaw and so the villain was on his knees almost comically. Now, Nick was never a dirty fighter, but that was then and this is now. So instead of backing off, he put a footpaw on his back and the weasel got in all fours.

-"You know what's next, right?", asked Nick, panting like a dog.

-"Yes pig, you read me my rights and I'll be back on the streets tomorrow morning"

-"Oh, no no no. Not this time, boy. You better have dental plan" said Nick in a sadistic snicker while he pressed the mugger's face against the pavement with his foot. "Bite. The. Curb."

And so the weasel did, and so Nick stomped the back of his head, spilling his teeth all over the street. Suddenly, Nick felt dirty and cleaned his footpaw on the ground, which left a bloodied pawprint. Now the clouds were pouring and Nick went into the car and hit the gas. The weasel's motionless body laid spreaded out in the middle of the rain and blood was being drained away and down a nearby storm drain. Finally, Nick's headache went away and his frenzy was over, except now he felt disgusted by himself.


	5. Chapter 5: A modest proposal

After half an hour behind the steering wheel, Nick finally saw the warm lights of his lovely home. So many memories had been born in there, and so many would in the future. Their first child, little Rick, he was really smart for his age; also Q, their pet Betta fish. Whenever they had visits, the guests loved the silly Q and his enormous fish tank. Nick parked in the garage and walked towards the front door. He left out a big yawn as he inserted the key.

-"Carrots, I'm home!" he yelled. "I think I'm feeling better, maybe I shouldn't have called off for work today.

He hung up his wet clothes, shook the water off his fur and entered the bedroom, dropping face down with a smile.

-"I just… miss you so much", he said as he looked at her picture on the table.

This wasn't a lovely house, it was a messy apartment. It had been two months since the _incident_ and Mr. Wilde was still adjusting to his new place. His new neighbors were a colorful ensemble of drug dealers, perverts, leftists and a few elders who ended up stuck in the building from simpler, more innocent times.

5:58AM.

The alarm went off and Nick is up again. Crime never sleeps but sometimes the fox wishes Judy hadn't left him such a big responsibility. Of course he wanted to make a difference in the world, sure it was great to work in the police with his wife, but now that she was gone everything reminded him of her, and it seemed like the department had simply replaced her. Still, Nick was preparing to leave when he remembered.

-"Shoot, it's Sunday!"

It was his day off. He took his time to make an actual breakfast, two eggs with bacon: A toast and a glass of orange juice. Real orange juice, squeezed by himself, not that flavored sugar water from the supermarket. He was going to watch the TV until that frisky Finnick woke up to hang out, but then someone knocked at the door. Nick swiftly grabbed his gun and peeked through the peep hole.

-"Who is it?"

He saw two large polar bears in equally large suits, sunglasses and wireless earpieces. Obviously Mr. Big's underlings! The morning after painting the pavement red with that damned weasel, so it can't be good, someone must've seen them fighting. The old man owed him a favor, but one can always change their mind.

-"The boss wants a word with you, open up pal.", said one of the bears in a menacing tone masked as calmed.

Nick was in fight or flight mode but he opened anyway. He was slightly off, there weren't two guys, Mr. Big himself was in his place!

-"What can I do for you, Don? I'm sorry you had to see my mess. If only you'd called earlier I could've tidied it up a little", Nick said

One of the bears helped himself with some snacks from the fridge and the other one kept his eyes on the unwilling host. He was wearing sunglasses, but the stare was as heavy as him. The boss spoke:

-"Nick, son,what were you doing last night?"

Nick's heart skipped a beat.

-"I was picking up a pie from Gideon's, why?"

-"That's cattlepoop, boy. Why do you lie to me?"

-"I was uhm… I went to th"

-"You went to the pub, son"

-"Yes sir"

-"And then you broke the police code, and also a poor bastard's jaw, Nick. He's dead now, Nick, you knew that?"

There was no point in denying it now. Whatever Mr. Big was planning, lying would only make things worse. Nick had to face the consequences with dignity.

-"No sir… I mean, yes, it was me, but no, I didn't know he was dead. It has never been my intention to hurt your business, sir, I-"

-"Relax boy, I'm here to thank you for getting that scum off my streets, and also to offer you a job as one of my enforcers while I go and meet a friend in my homeland."

Nick was astonished; he couldn't speak a word, literally.

-"I… I humbly accept the honor you've bestowed upon my, Mr. Big"

The don left the premises and Nick's phone rang. It was Finnick, he had been texting him for the past 20 minutes:

-"Hey big guy"

-"You up yet?"

"It's Finnick, let's go bowling"

"I may let you win"

"Answer, fudgeface"


End file.
